My Mental Health: January Reflection

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Firstly, I just want to say thank you for all the love and beautiful messages I received (& am still receiving!) for my post My Mental Health – A Happy Update! – I never in a million years thought I’d be in a position where I’d be able to talk so freely about my mental health, and I’ll be eternally grateful to you, the blogging community for making me feel so at peace with myself.

I’ve found myself really reflecting back on this last month – January seems to have gone on forever, but it’s been such a positive one for me. Yes, there have been hard days, yes I still have what I have and yes, just yesterday I might have had a panic attack. BUT, I’m trying this new thing where I let the positives outshine the negatives, and actually, it’s really, really nice.

So here is my end-of-the-month update.

I’m going out a lot more: Yep, and if you’ll recall in my last mental health post, that was a huge deal for me. Like ginormous. & since then I’ve only pushed myself more; I’ve been running, I’ve popped to the local shops to buy milk or stamps, I’ve gone off on my own when out with my boyfriend – there was actually one occasion in Superdrug where I was so engrossed in my own little bubble that I wandered off away from him and he panicked because he didn’t know where I’d gone. Safe to say, he found me down the makeup aisle. Duh.

I’m talking a lot more: Like, loads – with you guys, with my family & friends, and it’s such a positive thing. You’re looking at a girl who, a few months back, would have grimaced at the idea of having to try and explain her feelings etc. Now I just waffle and hope for the best. It’s good for me to just let it out in whatever nonsense, ugly, confusing form it might come in, because keeping it bottled will only serve to make me feel sh*t.

Plus talking to others who have the same experiences makes me feel a lot less alone, & that is something everyone who suffers with a mental health illness absolutely needs.

I’m seeing the positives: My outlook on things has done like…a U turn, & it freaks me out! I think mostly because my mindset has been so wired to think negatively all the time, that now I’m thinking more positively, it’s just like… whoa, nelly.

Obviously there are still really pants days, but I’m trying to teach myself to just let them happen – I feel like the more I try to resist it, the worse I’ll feel, & it’s just easier to allow myself a bad day. If that makes sense?!

I’m owning my truth: What I mean when I say “I’m owning my truth”, is that I’m not shying away from the world or myself anymore. I’m not hesitating when I say the words depression or anxiety, I’m not as bothered by what people think, and I’m really trying to help myself more than ever . I’m talking back to the voice in my head that tells me I can’t do something or that I’m worthless etc, and it’s works for the most part (not as crackers as it sounds!).

I really just wanted to start 2017 off the best way I could.

It would be so easy to sit here before you now and pick apart at myself, and relay all the crappy things that happened this month, all the times I felt rubbish or like a failure; whatever. I’m trying to accept it as part and parcel of what I have, but what I’m not accepting is that the negativity wins. It doesn’t and it won’t. Overall, January has been bloody brilliant for me, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m really quite proud of myself. I’m letting myself believe I’ll be ok, and I’m letting myself have little dreams to work towards & I’m allowing the belief that I am capable of achieving them. Plus a little bit of faith from the people who love you, goes a long way. I have a lot to thank my boyfriend for.

& I have a lot to thank you for too – for reading, for your messages & for your love. I’m very lucky, and I swear I’ll never take for granted that you take the time to read my babbling!

I hope January has been a good month for you – tell me if you did yourself proud or you achieved something you wanna shout about – tell me if you’ve had a crappy horrible month & you can’t wait to see the end of it! Tell me anything. I would love to know!

Thank you for being on this journey with me & I look forward hopefully to another positive update at the end of next month!

Big kisses,

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Come find me on Instagram! @katscarlettj

 

 

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26 thoughts on “My Mental Health: January Reflection

  1. Girl, I am so proud of you! Every step forward is a huge step. I’m hope that you are feeling more comfortable when going out and talking to people & I hope that February is going to bring even more amazing progress! much love x

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  2. I’m glad you’ve had a mostly positive month 🙂 every little positive is a small win 🙂
    I too have started talking really openly about mental health, to everyone aha. I even told my instructors at the gym. I think the more open you are the more it feels like you are normal and this just something that happens to people and we aren’t strange or weird or abnormal, we are just going through a tough time and our mental state is against us.
    Thank you for this lovely positive piece of writing.
    Keep on winning at being positive, we all deserve to find happiness 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading 🙂 & I completely agree with you, I think the more we say it out loud and the more people we say it to, it becomes normal. There will be people who’ll be uncomfortable hearing it, but that’s their problem!! Good on you for speaking so openly, you’ll inspire others! I really hope Feb is a good month for you, sending big positive wishes and love xx

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  3. This was so amazing to read and it sounds like your starting your year off so well! You are certainly sounding like your on a road to a greater journey with the huge strives you’re making! I think as long as you keep up with the positivism and positive thoughts, you’ll for sure succeed and maybe even beat this thing! Just always remember, mind over matter 🙂

    xo, JJ

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    1. Thank you so much JJ, you always put a smile on my face! I’m definitely getting there, and receiving such like…positive messages/feedback helps so much. So, thank you! & I hope you have an amazing February!! xx

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  4. I’m so glad to hear that you are doing well, that’s definitely good news :). I’m going out more myself, exploring more of my city and trying new things a couple times a month. I’ve also been reading more and exercising more, it really is the little things that make all the difference. Hang in there, progress is essential for growth <3.

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    1. Aw thank you, and thank you so much for reading!! I’m so happy you’re getting out more yourself too, I feel like there’s so much out there to see, and it’s actually so exciting the idea of exploring it all! & YES, totally agree on the exercise/reading front, both are so good for your mental health too. Your name is beautiful btw, just popped over to your blog! Hope you have a wonderful Thursday 🙂 xx

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    1. Haha aw thank you, it’s the best thing to write something scary and get such positive encouraging responses – so, thank you! I do believe you can find comfort in being alone at times, I think you find yourself a little? Hope you’re having a brilliant Monday. Big kisses! x

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  5. Glad to see you have found so much positivity in this world full of distraction and “noise.” Life is like a sinus wave. There are highs, there are lows. This is to be expected. The trick is always having a “tool box” filled with “remedies” (defined as activities, places, events, passions, etc…) that redirect your thinking and emotions to overcome TEMPORARY obstacles.

    Wishing you a magnificent 2017 and beyond! 🙂

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    1. This was amazing to read, thank you so much! You know my counsellor once referred to having a ‘tool box’, and I’d completely forgotten about it til you said it there. Your comment has really lifted me, thank you for reading/writing to me 🙂 & the happiest 2017 (& beyond!!) back to you! 🙂 x

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  6. “but what I’m not accepting is that the negativity wins. It doesn’t and it won’t. Overall, January has been bloody brilliant for me, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m really quite proud of myself.”

    You’re awesome! That was amazing to read and I feel so happy for you. You are on your way, even if you can’t see the destination yet. Very inspiring!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you so much for your incredibly kind words 🙂 & thank you for reading!! I feel like I’m definitely facing in the right direction, it absolutely means the world to receive messages like this. So, thank you. 🙂 x

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  7. Katie, what a wonderful exercise in counting your blessings. They may seem smile to some, but as we look at them over time, we can see and celebrate what we have been through and who we have become.
    Keep up the faithful blogging!

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    1. Thank you so much Tony, absolutely means the world to receive such positive feedback on these mental health blog posts, they’re always so nerve racking to write! & I completely agree with you, it’s positive to keep track of all the steps you take – we ought to celebrate every little victory! 🙂

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