My Mental Health: April Reflection

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The last time I wrote a reflective mental health post, I was struggling a little – if you read my March post you’ll have seen I was finding it difficult dealing with judgey/ignorant people and I was hiding away a fair bit. I then – about halfway through the month – wrote a ‘Happy Update’ – I was in a good place! I always feel like, if you’re happy you should voice it – celebrate it even. & the same goes for the little victories; getting over obstacles whether big or small is an achievement, & I find them especially important since I’ve got what I’ve got.

However. The truth of it is, I do still have what I have. I still live with anxiety and depression and I’ve really struggled in the last few weeks. I’m still dealing with a lot of stuff from my past and truth be told, I struggle to function like a normal human most of the time. I can’t always socialise, I don’t always eat and my mind is on a constant whirl of… I don’t know how to explain it. Like it just doesn’t stop. There are times when I’d give anything just to have an ‘off’ switch for my brain.

This is why I’ve been a little radio silent on here – I miss blogging so much, but I haven’t felt in the right frame of mind to write, let alone much else. I’m very good at appearing okay, and to the eye I’m pretty sure you’d look at me and think I was absolutely fine. On the upside I have been talking – when I’ve felt low/anxious, I’ve spoken to someone. I’ve kept in touch with my friends and some family and I am sorting out counselling. So as much as I’ve felt on the edge and at times like I wanna run away, I am trying to help myself.

I’ve also been trying my darndest to keep busy – I find my mind is at its nastiest when I’m not doing anything or I’m on my own. It’s probably not the best solution, but Netflix has basically saved me at times, I think it’s something to do with focusing on fictional character’s lives rather than my own for a bit – so healthy right!? & like I said I have been talking and trying to get out when I can. Other than that, I guess I haven’t been doing enough to keep occupied, come to think of it. So that’s one of my goals for May – get busy. I’m forever being told to exercise, and I do want to get running again, but the motivation is legit nowhere to be seen. Must sort that out. 

It goes without saying – & you’ll prob know this if you suffer with mental health too – that the nights can be the worst. Your head hits the pillow and BAM, soz K you’re not sleeping tonight, you need to mull over that time three years ago when someone was an arsehole to you. GAHHH.

Sorry guys. I always wanted this blog to be a positive place – and it is to be fair, even if I’m sat here moaning, it’s positive in the sense that I’ve got somewhere to be me in all the many forms I come in. & the truth is, mental health illness is not pretty. I’d not be doing myself or anybody else that suffers with it justice, if I sat here and only spoke about the positives. Don’t get me wrong, they’re important – like I said I’m all about the little victories and celebrating when things are good; but the reality of it is that it can be an ugly illness and it strips you of your character, takes away who you are and what you are, makes you feel ashamed/alone/abnormal, and throw in the fact that there are gonna be judgemental people or those that just don’t get it and…yeah.

So, my mission for May is this. Keep. Going. Simple as that. There’s a quote that goes ‘It’s ok if all you did today was breathe’ – and it is. If you’re struggling, speak, talk to someone, anyone – and I need to work on this myself, but keep busy. Draw, write, exercise, cook, paint, Netflix binge, garden. I’ll pop below some links too, there are some genuinely brilliant charities and people out there who can help you.

MIND

Samaritans

Rethink Mental Illness

Heads Together

Stem 4 – Teenage Mental Health

Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with me – I’m so grateful for your support and comments, and I will absolutely be back blogging more regularly soon.

Big kisses,

http-signatures-mylivesignature-com-54494-355-4f5963f54c5592ff541aa0878ca957e3

Come and find me on Instagram: @katscarlettj Twitter: @katiessanctuary

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5 thoughts on “My Mental Health: April Reflection

  1. I think you being able to blog about your health in general is extraordinaire! Most people hide it from the world but you’re brave enough to share it with everyone and I think that’s the best thing you can do. It helps bring awareness to it but I love that at the same time it helps you. And just know whether you’re having good days/months or bad days/months you have supporters like me cheering you on!!! Not all days will be great but that also goes to say not all days will be bad. We gotta take everything one day at a time! And just keep on doing whatever helps you get through it!!! Stay strong ❤
    xo, JJ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. JJ, you’re one of the little lights of the internet world, dyu know that! You’re so freaking lovely. Thanks so much for your support and your kind words, as always. I don’t feel very brave but I do feel like it’s a release, and you’re right, if it helps then I’m doing something right. Sending you oodles of love, thank you for your kindness! xxxxxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I appreciate your authenticity, life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s real and not always pleasant. I’m glad that you are in counseling and I hope that its been helpful for you so far. I also appreciate your transparency kaitie, it’s not easy to be that way. One of the things I’ve learned is there will always be people out there that try to drag you down to their level but that is truly a reflection of their nature not your own. They are simply projecting their feelings about themselves onto you, stay strong and you are right sometimes all you can do is take one day at a time and breathe. Sending prayers your way and I look forward to reading your blog posts :).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Blessing, you always make me smile! You’re right, there are people who’s sole purpose it is, is to bring you down to their level…I guess the trick is to stand firm. I’m having to wait a little while for my counselling, but I feel relieved that it’s on the horizon.. Thank you for your prayers and your support, you’re a true light. Sending love to you! xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. anytime Katie 🙂 Thank you for your transparency and thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad to hear that, it is crucial to stand firm to what you believe in and to know who you are. I am actually going to school for that.

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