So I wanted to write this post for a few reasons – I think 1) kinda out of just sheer frustration, 2) people can legit be divs so I feel like having a finger tapping mini-rant about it and 3) because I don’t think I’m alone here – if you’ve had or have depression, you’ll know that sometimes people say things and it’s like “…seriously?”. Ok, so it is a difficult subject to proach, and we all say the wrong thing one time or another. Sometimes though… just no. So some of these are things that have been said to me, some of them you guys mentioned to me on Twitter (thank you!)
“You’ll get over it” – Also see: “You’ll be fine”, “You’re just having a bad day”
Oh, will I? Thanks Susan, I’ll be sure to stick your good wisdom and apparent psychic abilities in my next blog post, lovingly entitled ‘Unhelpful Bullsh*t Susan Says’.
*note, Susan is fictional, the bullsh*t is not.
“You’re just looking for attention” –
This really frosts my cookies.
The fact is, who could be arsed?! I hate attention – from presentations at school to job interviews where it’s all eye contact. *Shudders.* I. Dont. Like. It. & as far as depression goes, I’d sooner get attention for running naked through Leicester Square whilst singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Now, someone could sit here and say to me “but you blog about having a mental illness… that’s attention seeking”… actually no, I do it for me, for my own wellbeing & to reflect on how I’m doing – I do it to help other people, because here’s a little thing about folk who suffer with depression – it’s nice to know you’re not alone.
“There’s no such thing as ‘mental illness’, I don’t believe in it” –
…Do I even credit this with a response? Just know, someone has legit said this.
“If I were you…” –
…that’s just it though; you’re not. So please stop yourself there before you begin spouting lectures on how YOU would handle stuff if YOU were me. You’re not me. You can’t know what goes on in my head and you can’t know what I am or am not capable of.
“Why don’t you just get some air?” – Also see: “You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten/taken a walk.”
…HOLY MICROWAVEABLE CHEESEBURGER BATMAN IM CURED.
“There are people a lot worse off than you” –
Yes, there are. Telling someone that however, doesn’t take away how they feel, and it’s also unfair to trivialise someone’s feelings or make their feelings seem insignificant.
“When are you gonna grow up?”
Oh I’m sorry; I must have missed the part where having depression meant you were a child or something.
“Stop being dramatic” – Also see: “You’re life isn’t that bad”, “It’s not a big deal.”
I’m not even sure what to say here. It’s just a stupid bloody thing to say really, isn’t it?
“It’s all in your head/mind” –
Yes, yes it is. Depression is an illness of the mind, so you are correct. Well done Sherlock.
“But what have you got to be depressed about?” – Also see: “But you have everything?”
If this doesn’t bring on the guilt train, nothing else will. Depression makes you feel pants enough as it is, without someone making you feel like you’re ungrateful or something. It doesn’t discriminate – anyone from the Queen to a Hollywood actor, to a homeless man to YOU can have it. You could have £60k a year job, the best partner, perfect kids, a huge house and still have depression. You could be a student, a doctor, a postman, a chimney sweep; it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you have or don’t have. What’s more, as perfect as someone’s life might look on the outside, you’re not to know what it’s really like on the inside, or what goes on in their minds.
I mean, I could easily go on. The thing of it is, when you suffer with a mental illness, you need understanding above all else. ….and for people not to say stupid sh*t. Not much to ask in the grand scheme of things?! Let me know below, what’s been said to you?
Thanks for reading this one, though it wasn’t so personal, these MH posts are always scary to write!